Do I struggle with perfectionism? This is the second time I am writing on this same theme so take a guess how I answer this. I set the bar pretty high for myself on a lot of things. This is good because I am reaching and striving. But it can be damaging to my identity and self esteem because I’m constantly falling short of these expectations. The sad part is that they are all self-imposed expectations. It ties in with my deep desire to find my identity in performance. I tend to judge how well the day is going based on how my performance is. What am I getting done? Am I busy enough? What can I check off? What did I do today? The list is endless and my sense of failure can be big when I don’t get enough done or do it perfectly.
I need this perfectionism beat out of me with a wooden stick. God does just that. He takes the wood of the cross, the perfect sacrifice, and brings me to my knees.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Jesus met every challenge, every expectation, every temptation and did every job perfect. All the expectations he was held up to were ones him and the Father set before time began. They were much higher than the expectations I am under because Jesus’ obedience was to cover all sin, mine included. I fall short, he completes me. I fail, he fulfills me. I an unable to complete everything, he finished my salvation fully. I have a long list of things to do. I won’t finish it. By the time I’m done crossing three off, five more will be added on. That’s life. It’s a constant push toward perfection. Not the perfection I will ever experience here on this earth but the perfection won for me by the perfect High Priest, Jesus. He destroys my perfectionism by being my perfect. He’s everything I’ll need. Now I don’t have to perform anymore. I finally can breathe.